Forgiveness

My church recently participated in a 10 day, 24 hour-a-day prayer event at our 24-7 prayer room. Each participant signed up for a 90 minute time slot to pray for ourselves, our church, our city, and our world.

I spend a lot of time at 24-7, so the place has lost a bit of the romance it had at the beginning. Instead of being where I go to meet God, it's where I go to help other folks meet Him, to see my friends, or to meet with people for work. I still think it's holy ground, but I don't fall on my knees each time I enter anymore.

I expected to go to my time slot, pray diligently, and feel good about passing the prayer baton to the person coming in after me. I thought it would be a pleasant experience. That would be all.

God had other plans for me.

Within the first few minutes, I had tears hanging heavy in my eyes. God's love for me was so palpable, so clean, and so present. Within a few more minutes, as I entered the forgiveness booth, I wept openly.

I think of the places of unforgiveness in my life as festering sores. The ooze and drain as they heal, and sometimes, I need the assistance of a skilled Surgeon to help me remove the infection. God removed a big chunk from my heart as I rested on my knees, praying for those who have hurt me most.

I was also humbled by a display showing the statistics of race, poverty, business and more in the neighborhood where my church has put down roots (which is also the neighborhood where I live). I am honored to be invited to serve, to be a light in this community. I hit my knees again, thanking God for using me.

What keeps sticking with me, though, is something in the communion booth. I don't remember exactly how it was worded, but it said something like: Drink, and feel God believing that you were worth the sacrifice.

I crave that feeling of worthiness, fidelity, love and acceptance. I seek it from the wrong places...but when I set my eyes on the Source of all love, I realize I don't have to search. He is always with me...