Proverbs 23

"Let not thy heart envy sinners, but be thou in the fear of the Lord all the day long."

I have recently gotten a tiny Gideon's Bible. There was a man at my high school who used to hand them out. That guy made me furious. I was always nasty to him. Weird.

I was flipping through Proverbs tonight, and that verse caught me up, like a net. I've spent far too long envying sinners. When my husband cheated, he was far from God, walking in outright rebellion. During that time, though, I was thoroughly relying on God. I prayed constantly. God gave me strength and patience and grace and taught me how to rely on him with my whole heart.

There is nothing to envy! He was in the arms of another woman, but I was in the arms of the creator of the universe. I was carried through that most difficult season with such gentleness, while my husband was wracked with guilt and anger, fear and confusion. I had the source of love and light and life surrounding me, and while I was in pain, I knew that God was with me, and there was going to be a day when I would be at peace, one way or another.

It was a gift. It always is.

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