Shut Up.

You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you and all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you...

For two days now, I've been stuck in awkward situations while the most triggering song in the world is on the radio. If I'm in my car, I can turn it. If I'm interviewing someone for a feature article, however, I'm just stuck with it, and it takes substantial effort to re-center myself.

When my husband left home to run around with another woman, that awful song by Kings of Leon called "Use Somebody" was popular. The other woman had a MySpace profile, and I'd obsess over every status update, as she chronicled her burgeoning affair with my husband pretty regularly. During that time, that song was the one that played when you'd look at her profile. Whenever I hear it now, I find myself right back in that place...I feel that death and desperation in the pit of my stomach, like a cold finger reaching down into my belly.

The worst part of the song is the word, "Lovers."

Oh, I wish I could undo that part of history.

Father, thank you for the work you've been doing in me to unravel the mess that infidelity made in my heart. Thank you for continuing that work, and help me to do my part, Father...help me to see the places where I am harboring unforgiveness or hurt feelings. I want to lay all of it at your feet. I want to give you that stupid song, and I don't want it to have power over me anymore. I will not let that situation compromise my peace anymore.

Just yesterday, you gave me such a moment of clarity. It's over, you told me, and I truly felt it. That time in my life is over, and it's time to let go of the emotional residue. I want to abide in that connection with you, that peace, and that realization that this moment is not that moment, that now is not then, and that I am moving forward and growing in my relationship with you - and that is all that matters.

Amen.